Contra mi entropía
¿Se puede ir en contra de nuestra naturaleza? ¿Puedes abandonar tus comportamientos atávicos y regenerarlos por mor de una idea, una perspectiva ilusionante, una emoción? ¿Destierras tus temores ante un sentimiento reencontrado?A Julian Barnes le parece que el "actual modelo del universo es la entropía, que traducido al lenguaje cotidiano significa: la cosa está jodida".
Aunque las mujeres que han convivido conmigo me lo decían en esos momentos en que mi indefinición era exasperante y yo les daba la razón, es ahora cuando lo veo muy nítidamente, que canta Silvio: como cangrejo que soy me muevo de lado ante lo que me atrae, doy unos pasitos y rodeo, voy hacia adelante y de repente hacia atrás, siempre sin perder de vista aquello que me subyuga, siempre sin decidirme del todo.
En ocasiones me aventuro y con un movimiento imprevisto lo alcanzo; otras, las más, me dejo arrastar por la marea hasta mi cueva. De mucho de lo que he perdido me he percatado al instante; de otro tanto, no quiero ni pensarlo.
Y en estas estoy, dispuesto a rebatir la historiografía de mi vida.
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